You Don’t Need a Special Occasion to Feel Beautiful
Not too long ago, I had one of those days.
You know the kind.
I had showered and dried my hair, but with the summer heat and humidity, there wasn’t much point in doing anything elaborate with it. I was also dealing with an eye condition that made wearing makeup difficult, so I decided to give my eyes a break.
And then I looked in the mirror.
I’m 55. I’ve aged. I think I’ve aged pretty well, but I’m still 55. And that day, with no makeup, my hair pulled back, and eventually a T-shirt and yoga pants on, I didn’t quite feel like the best version of myself.
There was nothing wrong with how I looked. There was nothing wrong with taking a day off from makeup or choosing comfortable clothes. But later, when I had an opportunity to go out and meet up with some people, I declined.
I just didn’t feel like being seen that day.
And I’ve thought about that moment several times since.
When Did We Decide We Needed an Occasion?
As women, we spend so much of our lives taking care of everyone and everything else.
We work. We lead. We raise children. We take care of grandchildren and parents. We manage households and careers and relationships and approximately 742 things nobody else even realizes need to be managed.
And somewhere in all of that, taking care of ourselves can start feeling optional.
We save the dress for someplace special.
We save the shoes because we’re “not going anywhere.”
We leave the beautiful jewelry sitting on the dresser because we’re just staying home.
And sometimes, without even realizing it, we start saving ourselves for special occasions, too.
Yesterday, I was on Gigi duty.
My granddaughter wasn’t feeling well, so instead of going to work, I spent the day taking care of her. After my workout and shower, I intentionally put on comfortable clothes because I knew exactly what the day would involve.
At one point, I walked into my room and almost skipped my jewelry.
After all, where was I going?
Then I remembered that other day.
So I put on my bracelets.
Not because anyone was going to see them.
Not because my outfit needed them.
Not because I needed to look “put together.”
I put them on for me.
Feeling Beautiful Isn’t the Same as Looking Perfect
There is an important distinction here.
I don’t believe women need makeup, styled hair, expensive clothes, or jewelry to be beautiful. And I certainly don’t believe we need to perform some polished version of femininity every day.
Some days call for yoga pants.
Some days call for messy hair.
Some days call for giving tired eyes a break, sitting on the floor with your granddaughter, and simply allowing yourself to rest.
There is grace in that, too.
But there is a difference between giving yourself permission to rest and beginning to believe that you aren’t worth the effort.
That’s the part I want us to pay attention to.
Maybe for you it’s putting on the bracelet you love.
Maybe it’s wearing the perfume even though you’re working from home.
Maybe it’s pulling out the good jeans instead of waiting until you’ve lost five pounds.
Maybe it’s simply looking in the mirror at the woman standing there…without makeup, without everything perfectly styled, with every year of her life visible…and deciding she’s still worth showing up for.
Because she is.
Don’t Save Yourself for Someday
There will always be special occasions.
There will be dinners and celebrations and weddings and big moments when we pull out the things we’ve been saving.
But most of our lives aren’t lived in those moments.
They’re lived on ordinary Tuesdays.
They’re lived at work, in grocery stores, on living-room floors with sick grandbabies, and in quiet mornings when nobody else is watching.
Those days count, too.
So wear the bracelet.
Use the good perfume.
Put on the outfit that makes you stand a little taller.
Or wear absolutely no makeup and your favorite yoga pants, but do it knowing that the woman underneath all of it is still worthy of being cared for.
You don’t need a special occasion to feel beautiful.
You are the occasion.
Cheri
