You Are Allowed to Change Your Mind About Who You Want to Be

What happens when you get almost everything you thought you wanted, and still find yourself wondering, What now?

You accomplished the goals. You built the career. You created a life you can look at with pride and say, Yes. This is what I worked for.

And yet, somewhere underneath all that gratitude and accomplishment, there is a quiet little voice asking:

Is there more?

Am I missing something?

What if I’m not finished becoming who I’m supposed to be?

If that sounds familiar, keep reading. Because it was definitely me.

When the Dream Changes

I had wanted to be a successful educator since I was six years old. And I did it.

I built a career I was incredibly proud of. I was financially independent and able to create a good life for myself as a single woman. People came to me for guidance professionally and personally. I had wonderful friends. I built a new house. I drove the pretty car. From the outside, and honestly, from the inside too, I had a good life.

I wasn’t running away from something.

That’s important.

I loved who I was. I was proud of what I had accomplished.

But there was this itch.

There’s more.

I kept thinking about the woman I might someday be in my 80s or 90s, looking back over her life. I could handle her saying, Well, that didn’t work out quite like I planned.

What I didn’t want her saying was, I wish I would have tried.

That thought became bigger than my fear.

And eventually, I jumped.

You Don’t Have to Jump Like I Did

Now, here’s where I should probably tell you something important.

You do not have to reinvent yourself the way I did.

I jumped off the proverbial ledge. I left my job and went full force toward building something new. There were risks I hadn’t faced in my education career. There were failures, setbacks, financial realities, questions and plenty of late nights wondering what in the world I had gotten myself into.

The money ran out.

Plans changed.

I’ve had to adjust.

And I’m still figuring some of it out.

A year ago, I probably would have beaten myself up over those parts of the story. Today, I see them differently.

I’m going to figure it out.

Things are beginning to come together. I’ve accomplished so many of those things that once lived only on my imaginary bucket list. And I’ve learned that the messy middle isn’t proof that you’re going in the wrong direction.

Sometimes it’s simply proof that you’re in motion.

But my way doesn’t have to be your way.

Reinvention Can Start Small

Maybe you aren’t supposed to quit your job tomorrow morning. Please don’t send your boss my blog as your resignation letter!

Maybe your first step is much smaller.

Wear the outfit you’ve always thought you weren’t quite bold enough to wear.

Choose the bracelet that reminds you who you are becoming.

Write the first page of the book.

Research the degree.

Apply for the position.

Sign up for the class.

Start the business on the side.

Take one step.

Because real change takes time. Lasting habits aren’t built overnight, and becoming someone new doesn’t happen because we wake up one Tuesday morning and announce, Well, I’m reinvented.

There’s a messy middle.

There was one when you were starting adulthood 20, 30 or 40 years ago, too. You just don’t remember every uncertain step anymore because you’ve had years to see how the story unfolded.

You won’t have that perspective yet when you’re standing at the beginning of something new.

That’s okay.

You Are Allowed

You are allowed to change your mind about what success looks like.

You are allowed to discover new dreams after accomplishing the old ones.

You are allowed to dress differently, think differently, work differently and want differently.

You are allowed to become a beginner again.

And none of that means the woman you were before wasn’t enough.

She was.

She built the foundation that allows you to ask the question, What else might be possible?

So if you’ve been feeling that itch, pay attention to it.

You don’t have to blow up your entire life. You don’t need every answer. And you certainly don’t need everyone around you to understand.

You just need enough courage to take the first step.

Because you can spend years wondering what might happen.

Or you can give yourself permission to find out.

And yes, sometimes that first step really can be as simple as putting on a beautiful piece of jewelry, looking in the mirror, and deciding:

I think I’m ready to meet the woman I’m becoming.

Be UNCOMMON. Wear Your Story.

Cheri